A Strange Missive
by Raven Lynn
Summary: It has been 6 weeks since Sebastian Vael retook Starkhaven. He and his people are just beginning to rebuild when a strange letter arrives. (Yes I know bad summary! )


"Your highness? There is a peasant boy who says he has a letter for you. A little urchin shall I send him away?" It had been six weeks since Sebastian had reclaimed him throne and had begun to rebuild. The mage revolts were still going on all over Thedas but Starkhaven had been spared much of it since their own circle had been broken only a few years before.

"No bring me the letter. All my subjects must be able to speak to me if I am to be a fair Prince."

The man nodded and a few moments later came back with an envelope with no outer markings, just a red wax seal with no crest. Curious and curiouser Sebastian opened the letter and froze for a second. He would know the even script anywhere.

_Dearest Sebastian,_

_Or is it Your Royal Highness Prince Vael now?_

_I must congratulate you on retaking your kingdom. I always knew you would do it for the good of your people and with all the trouble across Thedas the people will look to you for guidance both as their prince but also as one who served the Chantry. You have that way about you even if you often doubted yourself those closest to you never did.  
_

_I have to wonder if by now you have stopped reading this letter and thrown it into the fire or worse in the thrash unread where someone might pick it up and get ideas about tipping off the Templars to seek me out.__Once again I am trusting in your wisdom._

_I hope they have not been too much of a trouble to you since you. I know Varric had a hell of a time with them but since you left before the worst of it and are a known supporter of the church I doubt it. Decrying me in the streets of Kirkwall and swearing vengeance I am sure did not hurt your position either. At the time I was so angry but now I know it is what you had to do. We all made our choices that day, for better or for worse._

_Ironically the Mage revolt ended up helping you spare unnecessary bloodshed when you ousted the pretender or so I heard. The Maker does indeed work in mysterious ways, you taught me that. Along with a great many other things that serve me well now. _

_Have you been to a bar or inn as of late? I doubt it is proper for a member of nobility to do so but then again neither was it proper for apostates and we never let that stop us. There is the most enjoyable story of a riches to rags to riches Prince going around who slayed a dragon with a single arrow. It says nothing of the mage who froze the dragon so the arrow would finish the creature off but it is a lovely tale regardless. I guess after everything that happened the people need a real hero for their stories and not a coward who fleed the city once the battle was done. The prince who has come again has a much better ending than a fallen Champion who fled under cover of nightfall while the city burned. The city that she had failed to protect._

_I wish to the maker you had been there. I know what you wanted me to do and how much it cost me but still I could not. I know you do not understand but even after what happened with Anders, in him I saw my father, Bethany, Olivia ,even the girl Ella and I could not. I knew it would cost me one of the things that mattered to me most in the end but still I couldn't do as you asked. The one time in my life I could deny you. _

_Fenris stayed. The one who never agreed with anything I did who probably would have locked me in the gallows with all the rest had he had his wish. He and Isabella both after you left. How it hurt but deep down I knew it had been the right decision even if it left me broken. To die in the service of the Maker so his children might live, a brother once told me that is the ultimate gift to our creator._

_Vengeance not justice is a lesson I learned, but I learned it too late. I know the blood of all those people in Kirkwall is on my hands. I like to think the Grand Cleric is looking down from besides the Maker and approved that I chose not to kill in her name. I wish I could have saved more of the circle but there were so many at fault that day myself most of all._

_I know there are many that would not give me the same mercy, yourself included at one point but I understand grief and rage pushing out all room for mercy in one's heart. I'd like to say that is one lesson the Grand Cleric taught me even if I never came to church as often as I should have. _

_It brings me comfort to know that those that I cared for most are safe. Even if it means I had to send them away for that to happen. For the first time in my life I am truly alone and it is both terrifying and liberating. No one notices one more refugee when the whole world is at war._

_A refugee again, I never thought I would have to do this again. Part of me is glad Mother is not alive to see this, well any of it. But I could not put her through this again. Ironically Charade and Gamlen are safe Lowtown was spared most of the brunt this time while the Gallows burned. Since I had not lived there the Templars could not use them to get to me. Another thing I thank the Maker for with my daily forgiveness. Maybe one day I will find it._

_I don't think I told you but I always knew when it was you taking confession. All the other brothers or sisters would say something, a comment here or there about how I should be more reserved, more pious but you always kept silent so I wouldn't recognize your voice. In a way I guess that is what this letter is a confession that you can't respond to._

_That and a goodbye. I have forgiven you Sebastian (as if I could ever hold your grief against you.)I see this as my penance that I alone must atone for. May you rule just and well as I know you will._

_Yours, Hawke_

Sebastian reread the letter twice, a third time. Luckily for him only the guard who had brought the letter was in the room with him. To say he was taken off guard by the letter would be an understatement. Hawke, Rayne, reaching out to him. Forgiving _him_ for his inactions in Kirkwall it was hard to believe. But yet it was so like her.

The Templars had come, of course, within days of him claiming his families' seat. The Seeker had been later but he had gotten the feeling the Nevarrian was mostly getting a feeling for him and she would be back. Everything was too recent, wounds to raw to get much out of him at the time. Sebastian had still been angry. Damnable Hawke knew him to well as her letter had shown.

She was alone. She had sent them all away to keep them safe. What a stupidly noble idea. Again so like Hawke, always putting everyone else before herself. She was no warrior like Fenris or rogue like Isabella who could sneak by without anyone being the wiser. She was an apostate who was actively being hunted by both the Chantry and the Templars.

She would die. There would be no trial, no mercy like her letter had said. She would get the death she had spared Anders. If the Templars did not get her surely someone would see her using her abilities and end her simply because that was how the world was tearing itself apart at the moment. And she accepted it all if her letter was any indication.

When Sebastian had left Kirkwall he had been enraged. The entire journey home he had been in a rage at the very woman who had told him to return him time and again for years. It was not until he saw the remains of the Circle of Magi in Starkhaven that his anger had begun to subside into shame and regret. The cinder that had once housed people like Hawke, like the Hero of Ferelden destroyed and made an example of for all to fear.

That was not the lesson of the Maker, that was the lesson of Man. Hawke had been right.

* * *

A/N Hello again :) This idea came to me but I am not sure if I want to expand on it or purposely leave it vague like I did here. Let me know what you think and maybe there will be more. -Raven


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